nine months

Already, it's been nine months? That doesn't seem quite right to me. I feel like I was just pregnant and worrying how I could possibly be a mother, and now Elena is closing in on her first birthday. How did that happen so fast? I was recently perusing the baby clothes sales when I realized soon I would no longer be shopping in the infant section. It caught me off guard when I saw the newborn clothes and, realizing Elena would never fit in those again, I felt really sad. My baby girl wasn't such a baby anymore. I started to miss those times when I could hold her for half and hour and not even get a sore arm. Or when all she wanted was to be in my arms, safe and sound. Now she's starting to get so independent, not wanting anyone to hold on to her hand and not being content just laying in my arms. She's got things to do now! Fighting sleep is something she's become a pro at now, she just wants to be busy all the time. The sadness I felt didn't last long, though. I soon remembered the long crying spells and the failure I felt when nothing would soothe her. And how could I forget the exhaustion I felt from only getting two hours of sleep at a time. Sometimes loooking back on the way things were, you only remember good things. I have to remember I wouldn't change the way Elena is now for anything. I love her big, open mouthed smiles she gives me in the morning when I get her out of bed. I love the fact that she can understand things that we say to her now, and that really soon she'll be moving around on her own. I have to remember that things only get better when it comes to Elena.